How You Can Help End Teen Dating Violence

Awareness and action will end teen dating violence. Here are a few ways you can create safer world for teens:

  • Promote Bystander Intervention: If you see something, say something! It’s crucial to teach teens how to safely intervene when they witness abusive behavior. This could involve checking in with the potential victim, offering support, or, if safe to do so, directly addressing the abuser. Even seemingly small acts of intervention can disrupt the cycle of abuse and send a powerful message that such behavior is unacceptable.
  • Challenge Harmful Norms: Many abusive behaviors stem from harmful ideas about gender roles and dangerous misconception that jealousy equals love. By questioning and challenging these norms, we can foster healthier relationship dynamics built on respect and equality.
  • Strengthen Support Systems: No one should face dating violence alone. We need robust support systems for survivors, including more counselors in schools, better-funded support programs within communities, and a culture of support, not judgment. Let’s create environments where survivors feel safe and empowered to seek help.
  • Encourage Healthy Coping and Self-Care: Teaching teens healthy ways to manage stress, anger, and relationship challenges is vital. Encourage activities like journaling, mindfulness, exercise, and creative expression as healthy outlets for emotions. These skills are essential for building resilience and fostering emotional well-being.
  • Advocate for Policy Changes: To create lasting change, we need policies that protect teens and provide the necessary resources. Advocate for changes that support survivors and prevent future violence. This could involve pushing for improved education programs in schools, increased funding for support services, and stronger laws against abusers. Contact your local representatives, attend town halls, engage with your school board, and make your voice heard.

Supporting Teens in Healthy Relationships

  • Educate Yourself: Learn about the dynamics of healthy relationships and the different forms of abuse. Use resources like the “Understanding Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships” worksheet available at iRespect&Protect.com.
  • Talk to Someone You Trust: If you’re experiencing TDV, confide in a trusted friend, family member, counselor, teacher, or other adult. You are not alone.
  • Know Your Resources: There are organizations dedicated to helping teens in abusive relationships.
  • Model Healthy Relationships: Adults can make a huge difference by modeling healthy relationships and having open, ongoing conversations with teens. Use media as a teaching tool, pointing out healthy and unhealthy behaviors in movies and TV shows.
  • Establish Boundaries: Help teens understand their own boundaries and the importance of respecting others’ boundaries. Talk about consent in all contexts.
  • Talk About Behaviors, Not People: When discussing concerns, focus on the specific behaviors that are troubling, rather than labeling or blaming individuals.
  • Listen and Express Concern: Create a safe space for teens to talk and express their feelings. Let them know you’re there for them and that they’re not alone.

Easy Ways to Get Involved:

Ready to take action? Here are some concrete steps you can take:

  • Organize or Attend Events: Partner with local schools or community centers to host workshops, panel discussions, or even informal lunch-and-learn sessions about healthy relationships and TDV prevention. If you’re not ready to organize, simply showing up and being present can make a difference. Talk to your school about the iRespect &Protect myWorth curriculum.
  • Engage on Social Media: Social media is a powerful tool for raising awareness. Share stories, statistics, and resources about teen dating violence. Join online campaigns, use relevant hashtags like #TDVAM2025 and #RespectThat, and connect with others who share your passion for this cause. Every post, tweet, and share can amplify the message and reach a wider audience.
  • Engage in Open Conversations: Talking about dating violence can be challenging, but it’s essential. Start open, judgment-free conversations with friends, family, and classmates. Awareness begins with honest dialogue. Don’t shy away from those potentially awkward conversations; they can be life-changing.
  • Share Resources: You never know who might be silently searching for help. Share the resources listed below on social media and directly with friends who might need them. You could be the lifeline someone desperately needs.

Key Resources:

Understanding healthy relationships:

Recognizing abuse:

Getting help:

  • How to Document Abuse and Prove Domestic Violence
  • Love Is Respect Hotline
    • Call: 1-866-331-9474
    • Text: Text “LOVEIS” to 22522
    • Online Chat: Available on the website
  • Anti-Violence Project: LGBTQ+ Crisis Support and Safety Planning
  • Crisis Text Line
    • Text “HOME” to 741741 for 24/7 support
  • The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) – Offers confidential support and resources.
  • The National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE – Connects you with trained counselors for support and resources.
  • National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988 or chat online.
  • Planned Parenthood ⏐ Relationships: Guidance on talking to a trusted adult and finding local services.
  • iRespect&Protect.com: Provides resources and training for parents and teens, including a “Understanding Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships” worksheet and the myWorth Program. myWorth is a FREE supplemental health curriculum designed for 6th-grade students. This program assists youth in navigating the complexities and pressures of growing up in the digital age. Through four 45-minute sessions, myWorth engages students in meaningful discussions and activities about self-worth, resilience, authenticity, peer pressure, online safety, social media, and identifying safe adults and friends.
  • myWorth empowers students to make healthy choices while reinforcing the concept that their worth is constant, timeless, and separate from our decisions. Additionally, myWorth addresses the critical issue of sexting, educating youth about its risks and promoting responsible digital behavior.

References

  • American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Up to 19% of teens experience dating violence. Psychologists want to break the cycle. Monitor on Psychology. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/monitor/2023/07/psychologists-preventing-teen-suicide
  • Break the Cycle. (n.d.). Teen DV Month. Retrieved from https://www.breakthecycle.org/teenDVmonth/
  • Break the Cycle. (n.d.). Teen Dating Violence Statistics. Retrieved from https://www.breakthecycle.org/teen-dating-violence-statistics/
  • Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2006, May 19). Physical dating violence among high school students—United States, 2003 (Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, Vol. 55, No. 19). Department of Health and Human Services.  
  • Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024, August 6). Youth risk behavior survey data summary & trends report: 2013–2023. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/yrbs/dstr/index.html
  • Fifth & Pacific Companies, Inc. (formerly Liz Claiborne Inc.), & Family Violence Prevention Fund. (2009). *Troubled economy linked to high levels of teen dating violence & abuse

Recognizing and Preventing Teen Dating Violence #RespectThat

This February, for National Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (TDVAM), we’re joining the nationwide movement to shed light on a critical issue impacting millions of young people: teen dating violence. This year’s theme, “Respect That,” chosen by the Love is Respect Youth Council, powerfully emphasizes the foundation of healthy relationships. 

Respect isn’t just a word; it’s a mindset and a consistent action. It’s about treating partners with dignity, listening to their viewpoints, respecting their boundaries, and valuing their autonomy. Let’s make “Respect That” more than a slogan – let’s make it a reality. 

Teen dating violence (TDV) is a pervasive problem. It’s a pattern of abusive behavior in a dating relationship where one partner seeks power and control. It’s not just physical; TDV manifests as physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, and digital abuse. The statistics are alarming and demand our attention: 

  • Prevalence and Impact: 1 in 3 teens in the U.S. will experience dating abuse before adulthood. (Break the Cycle) This isn’t an isolated incident; it’s a widespread issue affecting our communities. Up to 19% of teens experience dating violence, with devastating consequences for their physical and mental health, academic performance, and future relationships. (American Psychological Association) 
  • Sexual Violence: 10% of high school students experience sexual dating violence, encompassing unwanted kissing, touching, pressure, and coercion. (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2006) 17% of LGBTQ+ students have been forced to have sex at some point. (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2024) 
  • Physical Violence: 9% of high school students experience physical dating violence, including being intentionally hit, slapped, or physically harmed by a dating partner. (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2006) 
  • College Years: TDV doesn’t stop after high school. 43% of college women report experiencing violent and abusive dating behaviors. (Knowledge Networks, 2011) Around 20% of undergraduates report experiencing physical dating abuse. (Iconis, 2013) Furthermore, sexual assault is a significant issue on college campuses, with 23.1% of females and 5.4% of males experiencing it during their college years. (National Sexual Assault Hotline) One in five women in undergraduate programs will face sexual assault. (National Sexual Assault Hotline) 
  • Stalking and Harassment: Nearly half of all teens report experiencing some form of stalking or harassment. (Hinduja & Patchin, 2021) CDC studies indicate 15% of adolescent girls and 7% of boys in the U.S. experience stalking behaviors. (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2024) Specifically, about 7.5% of high school students report being victims of stalking. (Rothman et al., 2020) 
  • Cyber Dating Abuse (CDA): Technology has become another weapon. Roughly 1 in 3 teens experiences cyber dating abuse, and nearly 1 in 4 perpetrates it. (Li et al., 2023) CDA is strongly linked to other forms of dating violence, sexual assault, and bullying. (Zweig et al., 2013) About 28% of students in a relationship in the previous year had been victims of digital dating abuse. (Hinduja & Patchin, 2021) 
  • Underreporting: A staggering 9% of teens in abusive relationships report abuse, highlighting the urgent need for increased awareness and accessible support systems. (Break the Cycle) 
  • Witnessing Abuse: Children who witness abuse between their parents are 15 times more likely to enter an abusive relationship themselves, demonstrating the cyclical nature of violence. (Harrison, 2021) 
  • Age Vulnerability: Teens aged 15–18 are more likely to experience psychological and sexual abuse than those aged 12–14. (Taylor & Mumford, 2016) 
  • Economic Impact: Nearly half of all teens from families facing financial struggles report witnessing abuse between their parents, and 29% of teens from these families report being victims of dating violence. (Fifth & Pacific Companies, Inc., & Family Violence Prevention Fund, 2009) 

The Real Cost of TDV: Beyond the Immediate Trauma 

The impact of TDV extends far beyond physical injuries, leaving deep emotional scars and have lasting consequences: 

  • Mental Health: Anxiety, depression, PTSD, and even suicidal ideation are linked to experiencing TDV. The APA reports that at least 20% of teens who experience dating violence have considered suicide. (American Psychological Association) 
  • Physical Health: Beyond visible injuries, those impacted may experience headaches, stomach problems, sleep disturbances, eating disorders, and substance abuse as coping mechanisms. 
  • Academic and Social Struggles: TDV can lead to difficulty focusing in school, increased absences, dropping out, and social isolation. 
  • Increased Risk of Future Intimate Partner Violence: Teens who experience TDV are at greater risk of being in abusive relationships as adults, perpetuating a cycle of violence. (Harrison, 2021) 

What Does TDV Look Like? Recognizing the Many Forms of Abuse: 

Understanding the diverse forms TDV can take is crucial. The signs are often subtle, especially for teens who may lack experience with healthy relationships. TDV includes: 

  • Physical Violence: Hitting, kicking, shoving, slapping, grabbing, or any other form of physical harm. 
  • Verbal Abuse: Name-calling, put-downs, insults, threats, and constant criticism. 
  • Emotional Abuse: Making someone feel afraid, worthless, or bad about themselves, including controlling behaviors, jealousy, possessiveness, guilting, and manipulation. 
  • Sexual Violence: Any unwanted sexual contact, including pressure for sex, forced sex, or unwanted touching. 
  • Controlling Behaviors: Constantly checking a partner’s phone or social media, isolating a partner from friends and family. 
  • Pressuring: Rushing the pace of the relationship or pressuring someone to do something they’re not comfortable with. 
  • Belittling: Put-downs, condescending comments, or insults. 
  • Love Bombing: Overwhelming someone with affection and gifts early in a relationship as a form of manipulation. 

Why Talk About It? 

Many teens don’t recognize the signs of abuse. They might think controlling behavior is “normal” or even blame themselves. Openly discussing TDV is vital so teens understand what healthy relationships look like and can identify the warning signs in all relationships – romantic, platonic, and even familial. 

Red Flags: Are You or Someone You Know in an Unhealthy Relationship? 

Pay attention to these warning signs: 

  • Constant Contact/Checking: Feeling pressured to constantly check your phone or social media due to fear of your partner’s reaction. 
  • Controlling Behavior: Your partner tries to control what you wear, who you see, or what you do. 
  • Isolation: Your partner isolates you from friends and family. 
  • Pressure: Your partner pressures you to do things you’re not comfortable with, including sexual activity. 
  • Disrespect: Your partner puts you down, insults you, or makes you feel bad about yourself. 
  • Jealousy/Possessiveness: Your partner is excessively jealous or possessive. 
  • Threats: Your partner threatens you with violence or harm. 
  • Physical Harm: Your partner physically hurts you in any way. 
  • Gut Feeling: If something feels wrong, it probably is. Trust your instincts. 

Let’s Talk #LoveDoesntHurt #TDVAM 

This Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, let’s use the hashtags #LoveDoesntHurt and #TDVAM to start conversations about healthy relationships and raise awareness about teen dating violence. Share your stories, resources, and messages of support. Together, we can create a community where love is respectful, supportive, and free from violence. 

Remember: A healthy relationship is built on respect, trust, communication, and equality. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. If you or someone you know is experiencing TDV, please reach out for help. You are not alone.  

If you or someone you know is experiencing dating or domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking, there are many services available to help, including the Teen Dating Abuse Hotline, 1-866-331-9474, text ‘LOVEIS’ to 22522, or visit loveisrespect.org. On this DOJ web page, you can find your state’s coalition, which can direct you to local resources and services, as well as opportunities to get involved and help others.  

There are also hotlines available, including VictimConnect (call or text 1-855-484-2846), the National Domestic Violence Hotline (call 1-800-799-7233, TTY 1-800-787-3224, or text “START” to 88788), the National Sexual Assault Hotline (call 1-800-656-4673), and the StrongHearts Native Helpline at 1-844-7NATIVE (or 1-844-762-8483), which provides culturally-appropriate services and advocacy to American Indian and Alaska Native survivors.  

References 

  • Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2006, May 19). Physical dating violence among high school students—United States, 2003 (Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, Vol. 55, No. 19). Department of Health and Human Services.    
  • Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024, August 6). Youth risk behavior survey data summary & trends report: 2013–2023. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/yrbs/dstr/index.html 
  • Hinduja, S., & Patchin, J. W. (2021). Digital dating abuse among a national sample of U.S. youth. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 36(23–24), 11088–11108. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260519897344 
  • Knowledge Networks. (2011, June 9). 2011 college dating violence and abuse poll. Fifth & Pacific Companies, Inc. (Note: This source is outdated and should be used with extreme caution. Preferably, replace with more recent data.) 
  • Li, J., Ran, G., Zhang, Q., & He, X. (2023). The prevalence of cyber dating abuse among adolescents and emerging adults: A meta-analysis. Computers in Human Behavior, 143, 107726. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2023.107726 
  • Rothman, E. F., Bahrami, E., Okeke, N., & Mumford, E. (2020). Prevalence of and risk markers for dating abuse–related stalking and harassment victimization and perpetration in a nationally representative sample of U.S. adolescents. Youth & Society, 53(6). https://doi.org/10.1177/0044118X20921631    
  • Taylor, B. G., & Mumford, E. A. (2016). A national descriptive portrait of adolescent relationship abuse: Results from the national survey on teen relationships and intimate violence. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 31(6), 963–988. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260514564070    
  • Zweig, J. M., Dank, M., Yahner, J., & Lachman, P. (2013). The rate of cyber dating abuse among teens and how it relates to other forms of teen dating violence. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 42, 1063–1077. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-013-9922-8    

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